This was all I remembered of the night. In fact, it was the last thing I remembered until I woke up in the hospital room when Meher was preparing to leave for the night. I couldn't move, couldn't speak, couldn't do, well, anything. Meher had also left, so I would have to wait until she returned in the morning to give any sort of impression that I was indeed awake. Recollecting the frenzy of events that had landed me in this soup kicked up a storm in my heart. I could feel a sense of repulsion and anger towards Kavya seething from every pore in my skin, but this was all dwarfed by my desperation to face Meher and let her know that I had not betrayed her trust. I tried to calm my nerves by visualizing the relief which would soon become apparent on Meher's face as she would relax her shoulders and drop the guard. Besides, the fact that Meher had been here by my bedside surely signified something. Did Kavya not say anything to her yet?
While I took the recourse of diving into the empty abyss of my mind to try and discover anything more which could assist me in determining what was going on, a flurry of whispers could be heard outside the room. I couldn't make out what was being said, but did recognise the three distinct voices that were floating in. They were Meher, Kavya and Zafar.
My mind started racing at the idea that I would finally be able to tell them somehow about being awake and conscious. I just had to wait until they came in now. But why were they talking outside among themselves? Come in already and plunge me out of this misery. After a couple of minutes that seemed like eternity, they did finally open the doorknob and wander in on tip-toe... all very strange again. I wanted to shriek out to them at this point to drop all the pretense and embrace me.
Before any of that could happen, however, they started whispering again. This time, I was able to hear them crisp and clear. Meher's voice seemed to be trembling with horror, I had never seen her so afraid. "What have we done, what have we done. This has gone too far. We didn't plan it like this. Look at him, he is completely out of sorts," rambled Meher with sharp pangs of guilt reverberating inside her. "We can't hide this anymore, the hospital authorities will contact the police first thing tomorrow morning. We're gonna have a lot of explaining to do," Kavya put across to them in a very matter-of-fact tone as if she did not share the feeling of remorse that Meher was reflecting.
"Doomed, this plan has been doomed from the beginning," Meher then stared at Zafar and possibly coming across far more aggressively than she intended to, asked him bluntly, "why did you have to hit him so hard anyway?" So it must have been Zafar who struck me the blow which landed me here. This piece of the jigsaw puzzle came as a shocker, completely out of the blue. Even for a night of unbelievable transgressions, I couldn't digest that Zafar had indeed been involved in this abominable scheme of things. Zafar? No. Can't be.
"I didn't mean to, but ended up taking out all my anger and frustration in the form of that blow. I felt as if this was my only chance to get some justice," Zafar attempted a feeble justification of his actions. This was it, I couldn't take it anymore. Hearing Zafar admit to his actions so scornfully broke me completely. Et tu, Brute? "Your notion of justice is a bit far-fetched then, isn't it," Kavya retorted combatively. She was in no mood for more slip ups and I could bet my life that she was already thinking about her next few steps. "Look who's talking here, the mastermind behind all this. Bravo!" exclaimed Zafar, passing the baton back to Kavya, who dismissed his sarcasm immediately with a simple wave of her hand. This was all so easy for her.
It was at this moment that I felt a rush of weakness. Of course, I was physically battered after the assault, but this was more of a mental strain than physical. It was the feeling of weakness which was rooted in sudden loneliness - the sort when you realise that the world around you is a pretense. I could compare my awakening to Truman Burbank's realization of having lived his entire life in a stimulated television drama in 'The Truman Show' where every minute aspect of Truman's life was controlled and manipulated by its creators. It now dawned upon me that I was all alone in this fight. I felt shallow, sinking into a pit within myself. Once you've spent years after years with someone, you begin to feel like you know them, but it so occurs that the slightest mixture of fear and doubt can bring out a whole new side to them.
Up until now, I had carried the same conception about Zafar. We had been roommates throughout and beyond law school and had a bond, or at least I thought so, which was supposed to be unbreakable. Zafar was one of the constants in my life and I often turned to him for some sane counsel and words of advise. His calm demeanour and quiet, joyful approach to life served as a great contrast to my own outgoing and trigger-happy outlook. I always felt that we formed a pretty good team because we were able to be completely frank and honest with each other about things. Zafar never refrained from picking out my flaws and asking me to course correct whenever my quirks got out of hand. He always expected me to watch out for him the same way, and I did that to the best of my abilities. What, then, went so wrong in our relationship that he had to react like this without even a hint of confrontation to try and clear the air first?
All the incessant chatter and blabbering going about in the room died out when we heard hurried footsteps which were first moving away but then turned back mid-way down the corridor to approach us again. Soon after, Vidhi stepped into the room, her face looking completely pale, as if she was about to throw up her whole life out of her that very instant. She was as shell-shocked as I was. I quickly presumed that this was the result of having heard all that had been said and done in the past five minutes. Did this mean that, after all, I was not totally alone? Was Vidhi on my side? Right on cue, Meher flared up at Vidhi and began to blame her for all that had occurred in the previous forty-eight hours.
"You're all lunatics, you know that," Vidhi stuttered, clearly struggling for composure.
"Oh yeah? If we're lunatics then what does that make you.."
"Don't you dare take another step closer to me."
"Why're you scared now? Where was this fear when you chose to do what you did," Meher tore into Vidhi.
"You don't know what you are talking about..."
"Trust me dear, I know what I'm talking about," Kavya barged into the conversation.
"Yeah, I did trust you... and look what's come of that," sniggered Meher.
It was this faint flicker of hope emanating from Vidhi which spurred life into my body. This was all that I required to zap my body out of its deep slumber. Isn't it beautiful how when life is hanging by a thread, even the slimmest of chances appear to be divine interventions, especially when it's a matter of the heart. In The Truman Show, the creators were able to control every part of their protagonist's life, but for one - love! They try to create circumstances where Truman will fall in love with Meryl, however, he is drawn romantically towards Sylvia instead, an extra on the show. In my case too, even though the cookie was crumbling, Vidhi's love and affection became the light at the end of my tunnel. To Meher, Kavya and Zafar, on the other hand, watching me regain consciousness upon Vidhi's arrival at the scene would have only served to further their conviction that I was having an affair with her.
"I'll say this in a language that you will understand only if you really love him, it's a sin to kill a mockingbird," Vidhi said with a triumphant air and dashed over to my bedside as I tried to sit up, leaving the others flustered to no end.
No comments:
Post a Comment